Saturday, 31 January 2009

Win! Win! Win!

Yes, bound proofs (or Advance Reader Copies if you prefer) of Best Served Cold are in and they look FINE. My wife is reading it NOW and she says it's GREAT. It is "violent, fast-paced and bloody," it is "a superb edge-of-your seat read from a critically acclaimed author," and it is "perfect for fans of George RR Martin and David Gemmell," and these things are FACTS that you can COUNT ON because my PUBLISHER says so on the BACK OF THE BOOK.

I regret that the goodly folk of the sf&f blogosphere may have to wait a few weeks longer to receive their review copies, as Arch Hype-Sorceror Simon of Spanton wishes to delay their release, that the INEVITABLE TSUNAMI of positive interweb hype-buzz shall combine with the swell of print attention and OVERWHELM THE MARKETPLACE closer to the actual release of the book, rather than going off in a premature hype-ejaculation that merely disappoints everyone involved and is nothing more than another guilty memory when the book appears in shops six months later...

What could possibly be sweeter, therefore, than that YOU, yes YOU, the HUMBLE READER, should be able to steal a march on JOHNNY CRITIC by being welcomed into the BLESSED CIRCLE and reading a proof of BEST SERVED COLD even before it goes to the reviewers and full MONTHS before it becomes available to the jealous fools that constitute your FRIENDS, FAMILY, and the REST OF THE NORMAL POPULATION? Is such a thing possible? Can it be? Believe me, my friends, it CAN.

But what Herculean ordeal must you undertake to harvest this scintillating bounty? Traverse the length of the world to fling a ring of power into a volcano? Defend an undermanned and demolarised fortress against a numberless all-conquering army of savages? Provide clean water to every member of an irradiated post-nuclear wasteland? NO! To win this mind-blowing, earth-shaking, bowel-loosening contest you neeed not even LEAVE your COMPUTER. You only have to email me at:

comp[at]joeabercrombie[dot]com (obviously removing the anti-spam bracketed bits and replacing them with the relevent symbols)

Including a completion of this sentence:

"I MUST read Best Served Cold before everyone else because..."

On the last day of February I will let my old-skool percentile dice - which, in their time, have made so many successful to-hit rolls and caused one much-loved character to memorably fumble a rope and fall to his death - pick one winner with the help of the gods of randomness. On the 16th of March, in order to commemorate the 349th anniversary of the disbanding of the British Long Parliament and, of course, the death of the Emperor Nero, my dice shall select another winner, aided by the hand of fate. Finally, on April Fool's Day 2009, I shall select the completion of the sentence "I MUST read Best Served Cold before everyone else because..." which delights/scares/excites/praises/amuses or otherwise causes me to emote the most. There may even be further winners depending on whether I am in the giving vein that day and availability of proofs at that time, though believe me, those bad-boys are in DEMAND.

As if that weren't enough to bring you out in HIVES of anticipation, all such proofs will be SIGNED, DATED, and INSCRIBED with an inscription of your own personal choice by MINE OWN DREAD HAND, then delivered to your FRONT DOOR by Her Majesty's or other relevant postal service. Only one question remains to be answered...

HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED TO READ THIS?

Or alternatively immediately put it on e-bay?

I await your responses...

A COUPLE OF CONDITIONS:

1. This contest is now open to ANYONE RESIDENT ON PLANET EARTH. You lucky humans.

2. I reserve the right to disqualify anyone at any time, just because I'm a small, small man and it makes me feel good.

3. Only one entry per person, you cheeky so-and-sos. Anyone found to be violating this rule will be visited by my Uruk-Hai hit squad.

Labels: competitions

Monday, 26 January 2009

January Ends

Hmmmm. Trying to move house, at the moment. Well, found a house, now we need to sell our flat. Good moment to buy. Not such a good moment to sell. We shall see.

But you come here to hear about writing, right? Not houses.

I'm researching.

Alright, you got me, I'm playing Total War.

And I'm tinkering with my short story, which features Curnden Craw, Mistress Wonderful, Jolly Yon Cumber, Brack-i-Dayn, Never, Scorry Tiptoe, and Shimla of Bligh. Oh, and the Father of Swords, which the valley-folk worship as a God.

So there.

My thanks to those who turned up to the ten-author signing at Forbidden Planet, by the way. Especially those who bought books, of course. My thanks to the other authors that attended and allowed me to bask in their reflected glory, especially David Devereux, who was the one who actually had a book out. It seemed like a great success, though, so perhaps there'll be other like events in future. Since someone was asking, I'll probably be doing a signing there in June for Best Served Cold when that comes out, some day around the 18th, I would've thought. More when I have a date.

Right, got to go.

Total War doesn't play itself, you know...

Labels: appearances

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

Forthcoming Attractions

Ah, that long, slow lull at the start of the year. Always seems to take a couple of weeks for things to really get moving again, don't it? Plus I'm in celebration/mourning for the end of my last book, and engaged in that thumb-twiddling period we call thinking about the next book.

So, this month I will mostly be:

1. Doing a round of updates to the website, which hopefully will go live before long, though possibly not until next month, and will include a sizable extract from Best Served Cold. None other than the explosive whole first chapter. Contain your enthusiasm, people! Though you might want a bucket of ice-water handy when I tell you that there might also be a link to a MAP OF STYRIA. I am too good to you. Around the same time, with any luck and a little help from the God of Release Dates, proofs of Best Served Cold should begin to go out, accompanied by, I can pretty much guarantee, outrageous claims on the back cover as to my genius, critical acclaim, exclusivity, commerciality, sales, and sexual prowess which may verge dangerously close to hype. Guard your fragile minds, advance readers, lest you be beguiled. I wonder if it will be with this book or the next that I will suffer a brutal backlash for my surely unsustainable levels of interweb popularity. It only takes one little boy, after all, to pull his finger out of the dyke and say, "you know, I'm not sure Abercrombie's really all that good..." And before you know it we'll be swept away by a flood of shit reviews. You mark my words. I'm prepared to weather the storm, though, because, as we all know, it isn't until you recieve a universal critical crap-panning that the sales really skyrocket...

2. Writing a short story. Yes, that's right. Never done it before, so it should be interesting. I'm also using it as a bit of a sounding board for some character ideas, as it's going to feature a set of characters who'll be central to the NEXT BOOK (see below). The story is for an anthology which I'm quite excited to be a part of, nominally of sword and sorcery stories, although with the convergence of sword and sorcery with epic fantasy into the whole area of edgy fantasy it looks like it will feature contributions from all kinds of exciting new faces on the fantasy scene, seasoned by some well-known, long-established and much-respected names. Can't say who yet. Won't be coming along until 2010, though, so fight desperately to contain that excitement, people!

3. And, of course, planning for that all important NEXT BOOK. The strange life of the author, wherein I'm pondering the next book six months before most readers will get to read the last, such that by the time it comes out, I'm thoroughly buried in the next project where praise or criticism for the last are both equally burdensome. Oh yes (you can't see, but I'm beating my chest), it is so terribly hard to be a maverick creative! Anyway, let it never be said that I keep you in the dark. The next (fifth) book will be a standalone not unlike Best Served Cold - that is taking place in the world of the First Law and featuring some minor characters from the trilogy in more central roles - but if you can think of Best Served Cold as Dark Fantasy meets Hard-Boiled Thriller, this book will be a kind of Dark Fantasy meets Hard-Edged War Story, and will be the thrilling tale of one great battle for control of the North, over the course of three days, from several points of view on both sides and at different levels of the action. Characters will include - a world weary crew of Named Men, a keen young lad desperate to become a hero and claim a name of his own, a Prince determined to regain his father's lost throne by any means necessary, a girl who may or may not be able to talk to god, and a fencing champion dispatched to the North as the King of the Union's observer. Naturally there'll be blood on the snow, blood in the mist, blood in the rain, blood on standing stones, treachery, heroism, cowardice, and blood. Oh, and hilarious banter. And blood. Current, but very, very rough no-promises-made-please-don't-hurt-me-if-I-miss-it projected publication date is October 2010.

And yes, I have a working title, and no, I'm not telling you what it is. Like all the best strip-tease artists, I must retain some shred of mystery, you know...

4. Tangential to number 3, above, I'm doing something that's been virtually unheard of for me over the last few years, and doing some actual reading in the hope of getting some ideas and inspiration. Not fantasy, of course, because, you know, who reads that crap? But a lot of books, fiction and non-fiction, about WAR, from Clausewitz and Sun Tzu, to Grant's Memoirs, to Vietnam combat experiences. And actually I'll be reading some war-related fantasy too. So there. One thing I've already read which I warmly recommend, is a book called The Whale Road, by Robert Low. It's about Vikings, and does a great job of communicating the alien-ness of their mindset, partly through some very nice rhythmic writing, which really gets a sense of the characters and their setting across without wasting pages on exposition. I recommend it. A short book which casts a long shadow.

Oh, and additionally, before I forget. Voting for the David Gemmell Legend Award has now begun, in which a sixty-something long-list of pretty much everything published by a sf/f imprint last year will be reduced to a shortlist of five for further voting to establish the bestest heroicest fantasiest book published last year. We all know the answer to that, right? Whatever THEY may say. Now normally I'd step back, dignified, like, 'cause I'm nothing if not dignified, and let the chips fall where they may. But the organisers have contacted me (as they have all the other folks on the longlist) to ask that I help publicise the award on my website. Therefore:

VOTE FOR ME! VOTE FOR ME! LAST ARGUMENT OF KINGS FTW! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

That is all.

Labels: news, reading

Sunday, 4 January 2009

Magnificent Eight

Thanks to master of the occult, security consultant, keen pilot, social gadfly, and even occasional writer David Devereux, who when asked to do a signing for his new book, asked a few other authors if they fancied joining him.

The result will be an eight-way signing/chat/blather-fest to be conducted at Forbidden Planet, 179 Shaftesbury Avenue on the 22nd of January (a Thursday evening) and featuring the following personable and higly talented authors (and me):

Joe Abercrombie
Alex Bell
Mark Chadbourn
David Devereux
Jon Courtenay Grimwood
Tom Lloyd
Suzanne McLeod
Steve Savile

Man, I love alphebetisation. No one beats me at alphabetisation. I, and indeed everyone else in my family, are the lords of alphabetisation. Unless you know anyone called Abbot. Get them away from me! They are my kryptonite.

Anyway, if you should desire to buy books from, have books signed by, hurl abuse at, pick the brains or bask beneath the sunny smile of any or all of these authors, come along from five until ... don't know. Closing time?

Unless your name's Abbot.

Labels: appearances

New Year Honours List

Admit it! I got you! You thought I'd been given a knighthood like that Terry Pratchett. Well, no. I waited by the phone all night, getting more and more annoyed, and her Majesty never rang. Just like last year. But only slightly less prestigious than the approval of the monarch and the opportunity to insist that everyone call me "Sir Joseph", is the approval of various people what blog on the interweb, and inclusion on their end-of-year best of lists. Now, you may be forgiven for thinking this post looks like just a load of self-aggrandising, self back-slapping, self-congratulation. And you'd be right. I mean, is this your first time here? So without further ado...

Amras at A Slight Apocalypse made the obviously wrong-headed assertion that, "Joe Abercrombie started off just okay-ish", but said the mere memory of Last Argument of Kings sent chills down his back. They must have been good chills, cause he ranked it number 3 of the year.

Paul at Blood of the Muse had Last Argument of Kings down as his favourite Fantasy of 2008, and his 2nd favourite genre book. "Incredible battle scenes and classic characters will brook no argument ... the king of fantasy in 2008." And he called Inquisitor Glokta, "one of the greatest fantasy characters of all time." So there.

Benjamin at the Deckled Edge had LAoK down for best fantasy of the year, and second best novel, calling it, "one of the strongest series finishes you'll ever read." Oh yeah.

Aidan at Dribble of Ink had LAoK down for his favourite novel published in 2008, saying it was, "littered with memorable characters, one of the best scenes of single combat I've ever read, and enough surprises to please anyone."

Graeme called Last Argument "a superb ending to a superb trilogy", and rated it his best book of the year. Oh yeah again.

Lastly, but by no means leastly, The Hotties at Pat's Fantasy Hotlist. I must admit I was somewhat disappointed to see that I'd only won "Most Accessible Author," which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but feels a tad like being voted, "Most Likely to Put Out," in a school yearbook. Imagine my delight when I scrolled down to see that he'd made me his SFF Author of the year. Partly on account of my writing talents, but mostly because of my banister-repelling thick head. Hey, I'll take em any way I can get em.

Okay, okay, I know, you're feeling sick. But you've got to give me something, I mean to say. Not even an OBE to dry my tears on?

Labels: news, reviews